I attended the 4th annual Total Woman Tea, hosted by the Theta Tau Chapter of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc. Every year that I have attended it has been everything and more! The speakers always put life in a great perspective! I thought I would share:
The speaker Ms. Jackie Brewton started off by saying she wanted to be significant, not just successful. It is all about you once you have become successful, or in the road to becoming successful. However, when you start caring about others welfare and others success and making sure other people make it, then you become significant. You are significant in that person's life. You can definitely be both, but if you are successful, why not become significant?
She then began to talk about how women have the power. Not to be nasty, but I know we have all probably heard of "The Power of the P----". It's just like Sampson, a man in the Bible who had strength because of his hair. He wanted this woman [sexually might I add] so much that he willingly told her where his strength lied. Later we find out that his enemies cut off his hair. Talk about sleeping with the enemy. --Back to her point though. We give our power away so quickly to these boys/men by having sex with them. Eventually we are no longer strong, but weak [more so emotionally] because we have let any and everybody in out temple. Our body is the temple and we should treat it as such. No man has the right to not commit and be able to have sex any time he wants to. All because we think that will keep him. Definitely not the case. We, as women, want a commitment but are willing to give the guy what he wants without the proper commitment. Why should we demand respect from a guy when we rarely respect ourselves. We need to know our worth! We need to know our values. The Bible says: {Proverbs 31) "Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies." We are worth more the longer we keep our virtue! It is rare to find a woman who have a low count on sexual partners, and even more rare to find a virgin. However, the more rare we are, the better are price is. In no way am I saying because you have had x amount of partners you are no longer worth it. But why don't we make an effort to become priceless from this day forward?
The speaker gave an example of a 24 y/o virgin who told this man from the start she was not interested in sex until after marriage. The man, also 24, was not a virgin. But because he was looking for his wife, he knew that she was WORTH the wait. He waited 2 years [1 year of dating, one yr of engagement] before he had sex with her..and that was their wedding night. During those two years, he learned patience and discipline. This prepared him for the temptations that would come after they were married...women who prey after men with a ring. But because he was disciplined in those two years, he was able to resist and flea from sexual relations with other girls.
Lastly she talks about the 90 day rule. Who in their right mind knows someone to the T in 90 days? No one! You have to see the good, the bad, and the ugly in someone before you truly know them..and that just is not possible in 90 days. Therefore there is the Relationship Attachment Theory..trust, rely, know, commit, touch. This is a scale where everything should be equal. Touch has to do with sex. You should not be able to commit with someone more than you know them. If you cannot trust that person then why would you rely on them. Everything has to balance out. Sadly, most people have a higher touch than trust or commitment. So we are allowing sex [touch] to be higher than being able to commit with that person.
It was so much that was said and I was soaking it all in!
Bottom line protect yourself! Sexually, mentally, and physically. We, as women have the power! No one should have control over us more than we have of ourselves.
