This morning I went to church and my mother encouraged me to attend the Singles Ministry. This is where the pastor directly talks to the young adults about dating and marriage. Today's message was phenomenal! and exactly what I needed to hear. . .
We must be realistic when it comes to dating, especially if we are dating to marry. We all know there is a "honeymoon stage" to every relationship. But once that stage is over with the real work begins. When we first start talking to the other person look for concrete and realistic ideas. And remember!: the proof is in the pudding! If he/she talks a good game don't believe it until they can actually prove it. It is easy to be fooled by good talk, whether we realize it or not! Also, instead of talking about what kind of car, clothes, or other materialistic things a person may have, talk about how clean a person is. It is best to know those things. You don't want to get to far in a relationship and the moment you step inside their house your idea of him/her immediately changes. You don't want to get to far then realize they have a personal hygiene problem. And remember, if you don't have any interest in those you are dating, do not continue to date them. It is a waste of time and some one's feelings can get hurt.
So in short, make sure he/she walks the walk while they talk the talk &&&& be realistic! We all know life aint no fairy tale!
Also..do not be unequally yoke! And this can go for a lot of things. Do not try to make it work when you never were on the same page about things that are most valuable [i.e. religion, family, etc.]
Lastly, know where the seed came from. If you see that the person doesn't treat his mother or father right, what makes you think they will treat you right? If he/she comes from a broken home, will he/she really value the importance of family? If their family doesn't sit right with you, you shouldn't sit right with the one you are dating. Point blank. It's not to say that the person won't see your goal in life, but it will definitely be hard to change the perspective of that person when they grew up seeing something totally different than you.
These things are just a couple of things to marinate on and think about while you are dating! Dating is great, but don't let it waste your time and don't lose sight of your ultimate goal.
P.S.: Don't be vulnerable and quick to believe everything! I'm not saying have trust issues, but investigate and make sure that this person is truthful and honest. Because as my pastor says: devastation is a terrible feeling and it can be the lowest of the low if you allow yourself to get that far. If you are looking to marry, do not marry that person if they have not changed what you have wanted them to change before you say "I Do", because garuntee if they wasn't pleasing you before the ring, they sure won't please you after the ring! Do not let emotions run your relationship! Emotions aren't logical. If you must think, think logical and then add emotions.
Love me,
B!
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